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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Plus Hypnotherapy for Lack of

Confidence and Low Self-Esteem 

 Confidence and Low Self-Esteem at Set your mind free

What is confidence and what is self-esteem?

Your degree of confidence, called self-confidence, is the trust or faith that you have in yourself and your abilities.  Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself.

Realistic feelings of confidence and positive self-esteem affect how you think and act, how you feel about others, and how successful you are in life.  Having self-confidence does not mean that you can do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.

What is a lack of self-confidence?

Many factors affect the development of self-confidence. Parents’ attitudes play a role in children’s feelings about themselves, particularly in early years. When parents provide acceptance, children receive good feelings about themselves. If one or both parents are overly critical or demanding, or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may come to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior. However, if parents encourage children’s moves toward self-reliance and accept and love their children even when they make mistakes, children will learn to accept themselves and will be on their way to developing self-confidence.

Surprisingly, lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability. Instead, it is often the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others, especially parents and society. Friends’ influences can be as powerful or more powerful than those of parents and society in shaping feelings about one’s self.

Any discussion of confidence should include information on self-esteem. While self-confidence is the knowledge that you can succeed at something, self-esteem is the capacity to like and love yourself, and feel worthwhile, regardless of all the ups and downs of life. It is your values, beliefs and personal philosophy by which you define your personal worth.

What is self-esteem?

It’s how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It’s knowing you are worthy of love and respect and high self-esteem and accepting your limitations and boundaries. It’s how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements.

What is Low Self-Esteem

We tend to go through life evaluating ourselves and others per a scale of worth.  The idea of self-esteem is the amount of value that we consider we are worth.  These values vary from person to person and situation to situation.  Whilst we may tend to think of ourselves of being of little value others may rate us more highly.  If we get into the habit in certain situations of thinking about ourselves negatively, then low self-esteem may be the result.

Low self-esteem can stay low because of our own negative, self-critical thoughts, which may be triggered by failure to achieve our desires or by being criticised.

Low self-esteem affects us through:

Our Emotions

  • Depressed
  • Hurt
  • Angry
  • Frustrated
  • Anxious
  • Ashamed
  • Guilty
  • Our Thoughts

Negative, self-critical:

  • I’m so stupid
  • I’m worthless
  • It’s my fault
  • I’m a failure
  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m incompetent

Unhelpful Thinking Habits may include:

  • mental filter
  • mind reading
  • prediction
  • compare and despair
  • critical self
  • should and musts
  • judgements
  • emotional reasoning
  • mountains and molehills
  • catastrophising
  • black and white thinking
  • memories

Our Behaviours:

  • Trying to please others
  • Getting defensive when we believe we have been criticised (feedback!)
  • Under achieving or working harder to compensate and cover up.
  • Shy and passive around others
  • Avoiding situations or people
  • Neglecting ourselves

Build Confidence – Increase Self-Esteem

A common belief is that self-esteem and self-confidence are the same things. However, although self-confidence is related to self-esteem, they are not the same. Self-confident people may also suffer from low self-esteem, and this can be seen by the vast number of actors, celebrities and public figures who appear to be brimming with self-confidence, yet totally lack self-esteem when away from the media or when they’re not performing. Unfortunately, low self-esteem is extremely common in today’s society and individuals can often struggle to find their sense of worth in the world.

Taking care of your physical health, reducing stress levels and exercising can all help towards building self-esteem. Counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnotherapy are really useful therapies for you if you are suffering from a lack of confidence or low self-esteem. Hypnotherapy seeks to discover the root cause of low self-esteem or a lack of confidence and uses the power of suggestion through cognitive behavioural therapy to create more positive thought patterns. Re-programming your beliefs can lead to an increase in self-esteem/confidence and help you to overcome negative thinking patterns.


If you would like to know more then look at my page on a lack of self-esteem or call 01908 265410 or

e-mail leigh@setyourmindfree.co.uk for more information on how hypnotherapy may increase levels

of self-esteem or to arrange a free consultation.

Self-doubt “I am delighted with the help that Leigh has given me.  I came to her when I was at a very low point and in honesty I had fairly low expectations.  With Leigh’s help I feel that I have made fantastic progress and I am mentally in such a better place that my old self is almost unrecognisable.  It can be difficult to make the decision to ask for help, but I can wholeheartedly recommend Leigh. She has great empathy, zeros in very quickly on the areas which will give you the most benefit and provides excellent tools and help to get you moving quickly.  If you have recognised in yourself that you need some help, I would strongly recommend you seeking it from Leigh – you won’t be sorry!” Doug ——————————————————————————————————————————————————- “I previously let low self-esteem affect my performance in exams and how I felt about myself and how I act. I now know not to be so hard on myself and not to let my past define me.  To learn from mistakes and appreciate all the positives and to treat myself better than I was”. Courtney”* ————————————————————————————————————————————- “I have found the course very helpful and Leigh made me look at things differently and has helped me to feel much more positive about things. She has helped me to build my self esteem, motivation and outlook. Thank you”. Helen*


*results may vary from person to person


Set Your Mind Free – Hypnosis Practice Milton Keynes

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*There is no guarantee of specific results and the results can vary from person to person

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